Parents' Grief

yo... long time since i update... or rather many entries that nard updated since i update. LOL

Today my module was on impact on parents of children with special needs.
We, teachers, social workers, service provider, can never experience the grief that parents of children with special needs went through.

A parent came and shared her journey with 2 children with Autism. She is now running a parent support group and she went through a lot from the way she explained and shared and all these... we can never imagined.

A parent will be at a loss when the child was diagnosed. Some parents took years and years to accept the child, while some took days. But i can tell you... its really difficult for a parent to accept the fact.

She also shared, after you come to know more about your child, you will have to fight against time. Because, currently in Singapore, there's ONLY integrated program during preschool days. Once your child reaches 7, he/she has to either enter mainstream or a special school. That's why some of the parents are seem as 'demanding'. but the fact is, they have no time, they want and hope and prayed hard that their child will get into mainstream. How they dont matter, they just want the child to get in, because, they will be with the typical kids.

This mother's sharing thought us a lot... on why some parents seem as demanding.. while others seem as 'not caring' for the child. Because on the grief stages, there are also detachment. Detachment is a stage where parents 'gives up' and look at the people around them after doing so many things for the child w special needs, after focusing so much on the child, neglected every other people/thing. Some at this stage, they start to think about ppl around them, they start to give time to them, and of course themselves. but this is seem as 'not caring' for the child with special needs to some service provider who do not understand. I agreed I have that label on some parents. but now, I understood. =)

Don't say you understand them (parents), because they know we don't.

ying~ =)